As I scrolled through social media today, I saw several accounts posting photos of their middle school children who made the honor roll. In no way, shape, or form is this post that I am about to write meant to cast any shadow over these children or their accomplishments. I truly looked at all of them with admiration and joy for their proud parents sharing their academic achievements as a representation of how hard each and every one of them have worked to earn this kind of recognition. It takes intelligence, yes, but, it also, takes an even bigger amount of discipline, focus, and commitment, especially, when it is much easier to get side tracked by the distractions and pressures that comes with this age. So, just the simple fact that they found the right path, and, stayed on it should be celebrated even more than these grades.
With that said, my post is to show praise and to cast a light on my child in a way that many, but, not all, out there in my boat don't really seem to share enough. And to the children that deserve so much recognition, but, don't seem to get it because of the way we measure accomplishments in our school system, this post is dedicated to you all as well.
Okay, here I go...Our reality is that our middle school child will probably never share that stage with your honor roll children and we are okay with that. What we are not okay with is instilling him with any kind of nonsense that he does not measure up to society's standards of what deserves recognition though.
There have been many times over the years where he has been the only child in his class that had to go sit in the office while his classmates had been carted off to receive academic awards without him.
There have been many times over the years where children have bragged to him about these awards and pointed out to him that he never receives them.
He has been asked why he goes to the resource room everyday?
He has been asked why he is not really good at talking or listening, or, even school for that matter?
He has had years of his dedication and interest and EVEN his diagnosed and documented language disorder questioned.
Let me make it perfectly clear. In our house, we don't make excuses and he is not allowed to either. He has a mixed receptive and expressive language disorder. What does that mean? It is a communication disorder that neurologically impairs his ability to understand spoken language and to use spoken language to communicate with others. How does that carry over to the classroom? He requires more exposure and repetition to learn new concepts and he struggles to vocalize answers in a way that demonstrates enough proficiency in these concepts. Hence, the resource room, where he is able to receive and review what he is learning at a more individual and manageable pace. It does not effect his intelligence in anyway, just his speech and approach to learning which is something he has greatly improved in as a result of early intervention, therapies, resources, and an incredible support system that has nurtured him with lots of love and encouragement.
So, when I look at my son and his journey up to this point, I see this:
I see a baby that was more emotional and fearful than others.
I see an insecure toddler that would not attempt to vocalize, and, instead, he would use everything but words to let us know what he wanted and the frustration it caused him when we didn't understand.
I see a pre schooler that was told he was not ready for kindergarten because he had not been able to demonstrate that he could identify his shapes, colors, and letters.
I see a kindergartner that could only speak around 20 words and fell behind quickly as the academic screenings began.
I see a second grader that was retained another year and was told by teachers that he needed to pay attention more.
I see a 3rd grader that had to take the FSA tests like everyone else no matter how overwhelming it was going to be.
I see a 5th grader who had to sit through one final round of honor roll awards at his graduation without his name being called.
I see a child that has had to watch his own brothers excel academically at their own awards ceremonies.
But you know what I really see:
I see eyes that began to twinkle and the most incredible smile that followed every time he grasped a new concept.
I see a child that never, not even once, has complained about all of the years he has had to go through speech and language therapy, resource rooms, and doctors' offices to assist him with his disorder.
I see a child that has openly told and explained to others about his disorder to educate them without hesitation.
I see every resource teacher and doctor that tell me what a joy he has been to work with.
I see him proudly holding his elementary school diploma in his hands knowing, without being told, how hard he worked to receive it.
I see a child that dreams about being a fire fighter and has never doubted his abilities to learn the trade and do it well.
I see a child that does his best and does not blame or use his language disorder as an excuse for his poor grades.
I see a child that refuses to give in or give up.
I see a child that will be just fine and will do well at whatever he sets out to accomplish.
and, finally, I see a child that has always been told that the best view comes after the hardest climb and he keeps proving it every step of the way.
You see, in our house, we strive for C's or above for him. Does he always hit the mark? No. Does he hit it sometimes? A lot.
Will there be any kind of awards or recognition for children from the resource room at school? Probably not. Should there be though? Yes. Absolutely.
Until then, my son and I will gracefully, always be happy for others, as they receive their school awards while we celebrate his accomplishments on our own. In turn, my hope is that society learns to broaden our ways that we measure success so it starts getting reflected more in schools and, that we realize on our own, without reading posts like this, that everyone deserves recognition in one way or another.
So, to my resource child and yours out there. Here is your spotlight. This is your praise and recognition that I am sharing: I see you, I see you all, and I have genuinely felt what it is like to be in your world and I get it. I have been in those rooms with you where you have been questioned, examined, tested, and judged. But I have also been in those rooms where you have been taught, challenged, encouraged, and supported. I have seen you walk in deflated and walk out elated. I know you spend everyday starting where you are at, using what you have, and doing what you can to learn and prove it to people but you only have to prove it to yourself. You have to do the climbing. It is your hill and your view. No one else. Congratulations to all of you on your hard work.
