Think
POSITIVE
Today, I was talking to a family member I find rather judgmental, and I decided to shift the conversation and propose a new topic about positive attributes. When asked, not what their most positive one was, but, our immediate family, it was interesting to see how trying and uncomfortable it was to say something nice and not rebound back to the negativity. Each time it shifted; I redirected the request back to just summing it up into one positive attribute about each person we were discussing. The words that finally surfaced were perseverant, resilient, curious, and patient. Then, I pondered using those words to focus on rather than shifting back to the less flattering ones I hear more often.
Two take aways I had from this. For me, it doesn't feel good to concentrate more on the negatives than the positives in relationships. It changes the mood, functionality, and overall quality and benefit of even having it at all. However, when it comes to family, it's different and way more complicated. I have been stuck in bad relationships and felt overwhelmed to muster up the energy and discipline to either change or exit them all together. The severity of the disfunction and the wisdom I have picked up along the way on how to properly handle it, though, has, mostly likely, either distanced or removed me from most of them all together. So, when talking to someone at a different place in life about worthy relationships that need a little mending, a positive shift in the words we use and how we feel about them is a perfect way to start introducing some thoughts that will hopefully grow and prosper.
Secondly, I found hearing how someone else sees you, especially in a family role, summed up into the most prominant word that first comes to mind is both surprising and enlightening. Not in a bad way at all. More like a "hmm" moment. I don't think we ask ourselves or people how they perceive us enough and there is definitely some food for thought in that conversation. Furthermore, having someone see an attribute in you that you didn't think of or realize should only add to your self-worth so never take away something negative from it.
Those lil nuggets of knowledge shared with you should make you feel good when offered and don't disagree with them or question them. Then, maybe being focused and appreciative will be some future attributes shared with you!
