So, what do you do when you are already in financial and emotional distress? That's right! Have another baby! Yes, I am pregnant with baby boy #3 (no official name yet) and, although, I realize it might not be the ideal time for this, given our situation, I am quick to remind myself that children are a blessing. So, it is what it is and I am ready to embrace another member of our growing family......
When the test turned positive and the harsh reality set in that our family would be growing one more and FINAL time, I admit, I panicked. There was a little uneasiness about going through the whole process again because of my blood clot history, but, the main source of my distress was the very common reaction of "oh my god, how are we going to afford this!?!" I tried to fall back on the old adage that "if you wait til you can afford to have children, you never will" but it didn't work this time. I was not unemployed or already emotionally run down the last two times. My body was younger and more forgiving then. I was not scarred emotionally or physically by such a post surgery nightmare. I was, clearly, a different person, during my last two pregnancies.
However, I have decided to not drag this baby down by my fears or worries. It is blissfully and innocently floating around in a bubble of amniotic fluid and I am not going to do anything to jeopardize its sweet little world.
I have had to endure Lovenox injections in my belly daily to help with the risk of another blood clot. So far, a small price to pay for the wonderful life growing inside me. I distract myself with memories of my other children when they were little and how much they have brought into my life over the years.
I have no doubt that this child will be adored just as much as his brothers, and, I know the fear, the injections, and the impending surgery will be forgotten when I get to see his little face and hold him for the first time.
I am feeling cautiously optimistic that, soon, I will be able to tell myself that I have worried for no reason and I am truly looking forward to the joy and hope a new baby brings into your life.
Now, if I could just think of a name for you!! :)