Thursday, February 9, 2012

THAT kind of day


Have you ever had THAT day? THAT kind of day that just throws you so far out of focus that you just cannot seem to find your way back again to before THAT day?
Well, I had THAT day two whole days ago and still find myself a little off kilter until I saw THAT photo hovering above these rambling words of mine. The beautiful message reads "Whatever happens in your life, whatever your pain, remember that God always sends rainbows after the rain."
It always strikes me as odd when you need to find your focus and then you stumble across something just like this. For whatever reason, call it just a random photo, a coincidence or divine intervention, but, it still amazes me when this happens.
My, as the photo calls it, "rain" was seeing my child hurting after a very bizarre and totally unexpected accident. We were walking down the sidewalk in front of his school and did not see an uncovered water meter. He took a step and his small foot fit perfectly inside the exposed hole that none of us saw. He immediately fell forward and crash landed right into an iron pipe protruding out of the ground which hit his forehead and tore his chin open. I just caught him falling out of the corner of my eye and a split second later he was on the ground bleeding.
Why was the cover off the meter? Why didn't I turn around sooner and catch him before he hit the ground? Why did we walk down this sidewalk today and not our usual way home? My mind raced with questions I managed to think but couldn't answer.
Always calm and composed little ole me was suddenly a big ole mess of frazzled nerves. I soon figured out that there is truly nothing worse than seeing your child hurt like that. The kind of hurt you can't hug and kiss away, the kind of hurt that you can't make feel better no matter how hard you try. Just awful. I haven't ever had to really have that feeling and I hope I never will have a reason to again.
Two hours in the E.R. and four stitches later, my little boy was "fixed" and back to his normal self again. In true form for him, he did not cry and he didn't want to talk about it, just fix it and take me home. How could my 5 year old be so much braver than me? Well, I guess it is just called being a mother who simply couldn't handle seeing him that way and not being able to make it all go away.
We went home and the usual rat race began. Homework, dinner time, bath time, story time, bed time, wake up, make the lunches, get the kids to school, go to work , start over again. Today is literally the first day I have had some time to really decompress from it but I felt that unraveled feeling quickly sinking in again and the same questions began to race through my worn out mind.
I have talked to school and city officials about the uncovered water meter. The cover has been attached again, the iron pipe has been buried under a mound of dirt, and after explaining to them that it was more about the lack of safety issue than the medical bill reimbursement, I have decided to file a claim. So, I should feel better about my quick and pro active approach right? BUT that sweet little boy with the stitched up chin that he calls "ropes" just makes me sad and I think I will just feel THAT way until it heals.
However, as I randomly wandered around Facebook tonight, and, saw this photo a friend "liked," it just hit me in a good way. Sometimes, it just feels good to be reminded that there is that rainbow after the rain clears. So, random photo, coincidence or divine intervention, thank you. Thank you for helping this frazzled mom focus again. Now, back to the rat race....