Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Who knew a pack of sidewalk chalk could change my whole day!
I caught my middle child in the kitchen using a pair of scissors to open a new pack of sidewalk chalk. I helped him and off he disappeared to do what he does best. Immerse himself. He, like me, loves the blissful combination of creativity and solitude. So, I often find him alone buried in Lego's or doodling in a sketch pad or exploring in the yard.
Hours later, I ventured out to the backyard and found that he had used the entire pack of sidewalk chalk to transform our fence into many things....a stick figure on an adventure, random thoughts, even math problems but what immediately drew my attention was his affirmation of love for me. A simple "I HEART MOM" in neon yellow chalk sweetly floating in a collage of Dylan's imagination.
It's moments like this that stop you dead in your tracks and let you bask in the glory of everything right you have done with your life. Sure, there are many moments of my life that define me and my existence, but, motherhood, well that just puts you on another level like no other.
Through three pregnancies, three births, and three childhoods I have always felt a delicate balance of fear and triumph as I raise my three boys. The "am I doing a good job?" versus the "hell, yes, these boys are awesome!" attitudes with a lot of worry and validation in between.
Parenting is everything you thought it would be and everything people don't tell you. There are days when I am completely drained and questioning what I got myself into and days when I am completely fulfilled and couldn't imagine myself without them. So, seeing this message on the fence and knowing for, whatever reason, I popped into his head as a burst of love while he was playing, means so much!
Today, after a hard rain, I went out to see if it was still there, and it was. Slightly washed away but still legible. I found a small nub of bright green chalk laying in the grass and I wrote "I HEART U 2" next to his "I HEART MOM." So, hopefully, he can feel the unexpected joy of being reminded how much he is loved too.