Saturday, June 25, 2016

I Remember Her

Go placidly among the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence....Be gentle with yourself....You are a child of the universe. No less than the trees and the stars....In the noisy confusion of life keep peace in your soul....With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world....Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.   - Excerpts from "Desiderata" (Latin for "Things Desired") by American Writer and Poet, Max Ehrmann, 1927.

Do you remember yourself as a child? Not the way you looked but the way you felt and how you lived. I remember her...My inner child. She is still inside of me and I have reached in and re-connected with her many times over the years. 
She has always been my hope. She speaks to me in times of sorrow and reminds me of who I really am and not what I think I used to be. She is artistic, funny, and passionate. She is sassy, strong, and adventurous. She plays, creates, imagines, and dreams. She helps, appreciates, and feels everything.  Life was not always easy for her, but, she made it through and still saw the beauty in the world. She never gives up and never gives in because she strives to be happy  (and she was and still is.)
She makes me laugh and cry sometimes, but, most of all, she keeps me grounded. She lets me know that no matter what happens, she is still in me and never fails to convince me that I am and will always be her....the person that I was born to be despite whatever age I am at or whatever life throws at me. 
I respect, honor, and believe in that girl and everything she represents to me. She deserves that. I deserve that. 
It is hard when the world takes such ugly turns and we have to absorb it and, yet, adapt and move on. Our world seems to be caught in such a horrible cycle of hate and violence. You never know when or how it will occur but it does. Then, our social media explodes. The heartbreaking headlines, the death tolls, the faces of the victims and the killers. Our president speaks, the candle light vigils and moments of silence occur, our undying pledges of love and support. Then, the false sense of normalcy until the next event and we go through the same drill as we did before. 
I will never get used to the hurt and pain. I feel it so deeply every time. I often find my only peace is in silence. I can't continually read about it or look at it or it does consume me and I often begin to worry about my children and the cruel direction of the world they may have to face in their lifetimes. That is when I find solace in remaining true to myself and the belief that the same life lessons I have taught them will always echo through their inner children no matter what happens in this chaotic world we seem to have no control over anymore.
There is so much we can't change but if I have learned anything in life it is the importance of  keeping a sense of peace in your soul. Nurture the strength of your spirit so it can help shield you in misfortune. Never become so broken that you can't still see or find beauty in the world. 
It is hard to believe that "Desiderata" was written in 1927 as it can be applied to any moment in time. Its message resonates so deeply in me and speaks to me like that inner child. I found myself needing to read this after the recent Orlando events.

Here is the poem in its entirety: 
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.