Monday, October 5, 2009

The Man from Habersham

"Who is that man?," you ask. Well, let me tell you all about him:
His long journey began in a beautiful two story white house that sat up high on a hill in Habersham, Georgia. He was the oldest of three boys and he liked to play baseball. His favorite ice cream flavor was chocolate. He was smart and did well at school. He was inquisitive and always trying to figure things out. When his path took him away from that hill in Habersham, it led him to all kinds of extraordinary places. One path took him straight into World War II when our country called on him to be a soldier. Another path took him to the hustle and bustle of New York City where he worked hard in the textile industry. Then, another path led him all the way over the ocean to Ireland where he met his future wife.
The path I remember well was the one that led him to that sleepy circus town I told you about. Do you remember that bike I loved so much with the sparkly blue seat and handle bar streamers? Well, that man you see before you taught me how to ride that bike! He ran behind it, on that uneven sidewalk, holding on firmly so I wouldn't fall while I learned to balance. Yes, I have a lot of endearing memories of that man....How he gently held my hand and never let go first; How he could always read my mind without asking any questions; I can even still hear his catch phrase, "go get 'em tiger," all of those times I needed a little reassurance. He showed me how to drive a car, he taught me about the world and he encouraged me to dream. He was my dad.
On August 25, 1995, he lost his life after a courageous battle with cancer. I was one month shy of my 24th birthday and a lifetime away from handling this kind of grief. However, for him, there was finally no more suffering, no more rounds of radiation, no more intolerable pain, no more debilitating cancer....just peace.
His death was my first real lesson in heartache and the beginning of many missed opportunities. (also known as regrets) Those gentle hands that never let go first, well, they weren't there to reach out and walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. They weren't there to proudly hold his grandsons for the first time. It just didn't seem fair to lose him when there were still so many wonderful events ahead of us.
However, I have learned a couple of meaningful things from this. In a world full of dead beat dads and struggling single moms, I had an incredible father for 23 years! Unfortunately, not everyone can say that! So, that man from Habersham served me well and I am able to always keep him alive in my thoughts and through the many tales I tell his grand children about their papa.
Secondly, I realized that everything happens for a reason. I have talked about roads and where they lead us to. Well, my path in nursing led me straight to the one my dad was on when he had cancer. My training prepared me to help him down that path all the way to the end when he became too weak to travel it on his own. I chose to leave nursing after he died, but, I am forever grateful that I took that path when I did. It just took me five years to realize why!

Note: This photo of my dad is nestled in a frame on my bedside table. I chose it because I love the hat and the old Hollywood charm about it. Also, he was at the age when he left Habersham and began his many adventures. Love you and miss you dad.

1 comment:

  1. Mary, I had no idea. Although many years too late, I am sorry for your loss, and truly grateful for youR honesty in sharing.

    Unlike you, my Dad was never around when I was a child. He discovered sobriety when I turned 20, and we have been trying to make-up for lost time ever since.

    And yes, that picture of your Dad is GREAT!

    ReplyDelete

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