Tick Tock...Tick Tock...

I miss having no concept of time. You know, that short period of oblivion at the very beginning of your life when you have no clue what you are doing or where you are supposed to be and everyone around you is accepting of it.
As I entered my teens, I learned quickly that there were more schedules to follow, less room for error and not as much tolerance as before. This less flexible and much more rigid transition period was not always easy for a chronic daydreamer and very indecisive person in general.
It was during this period that I began to notice this internal 'clock' ticking inside of me. It was like always having a constant reminder of how quickly each day goes by and how there is so little time to capture all of those moments that have now become distant memories. So, I learned to really hear and feel that clock (tick tock) It went something like this...
Get to school on time (tick tock), turn in that essay for English class, don't miss Art Club, finish all of that homework (tick tock), find a ride to the football game, find a date for the homecoming dance (tick tock), fall in love and get your heart broken, make and lose friends (tick tock), find a weekend job, pass your driver's test, get a car (tick tock), SATS, deadlines for colleges, sign my yearbook, it never stopped....(tick tock) Don't get me wrong. I knew it was going to be more complicated than picking out the right lip gloss but I don't think I totally realized that when that internal clock started ticking, well, it was NEVER going to stop!
So, what about the rest of the world? Well, those clocks were ticking too and I heard them clearly! It didn't seem to matter what day of the week it was either because they were always there and always loud! Even louder than my own and I had just as many thoughts about them too! (TICK TOCK...TICK TOCK!!!)
AIDS was an epidemic that had been called the 'gay man's disease' by plenty I knew but it was spreading so fast and not just among the gay community.
"So many people are dying, but, they are going to find a cure before it ever affects anyone I know, right?," I thought.(TICK TOCK...TICK TOCK...)
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day was designated as a national holiday.
"Yes! Another reason to get a day off, right? Well, he took a stand for civil rights and racial equality. Was our world there yet or was that race still going on too?" I thought. (TICK TOCK...TICK TOCK...)
Who am I kidding! There were so many clocks ticking... The largest stock-market crash in Wall Street history; Those poor farmers were suffering because of serious droughts; The worst nuclear and human-caused environmental disaster ever...."Black Monday", Farm Aid, Chernobyl, Exxon Valdez oil spill..."I have no idea how to fix a nuclear disaster but we can stabilize the economy, help the farmers and clean up the oil? Right? How long was that going to take?," I thought. (TICK TOCK...TICK TOCK...)
So, I was still definitely learning, or should I say, "listening," to all of those clocks which represented all of the issues that were still going on inside of and all around me.
As I look back on it now, I realize that the shape and size of those clocks might have changed but they are still timing the races we all face day to day alone and together. (and that damn 'Tick Tock' still sounds the same!)
Did you hear one today??