Be Yourself

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde

I came across this quote today and it particularly struck a chord with me as I have to listen to all of this political stuff day in and out. Speeches, phonecalls, social media, TV Ads, it is everywhere. I hate election years. I hate the mud slinging. I hate not knowing fact from fiction. I don't have the time or interest to be a fact checker. I don't believe everything I am told. I don't know what to believe. That is why this quote got me thinking about politics. Be yourself. Sounds easy enough but is that even possible in politics? Too many people to please, too many votes to try and get, too many people telling you  how to look, how to act and what to say. How do they (being Romney and Obama) even remember who they REALLY are or what they really BELIEVE in?
I love this country but not everything it stands for. I think the government is involved in too much, I think alot of greed and no sacrafice has gotten us into this economic disaster, and I think it is a big hot mess to try and fix for anyone who gets into office. That's me being myself and even if everyone else was NOT taken, I wouldn't want to be anyone else, and, especially, not a politician. ;>)

Tropical Storm Isaac: Never Forget

8/27/2012: Never Forget

This was the storm that never was.....

Yes, I live in Florida and part of living in Florida is accepting that we are in a hurricane prone zone. However, I still manage to get caught up in the hype when they pop up on the radar.
The news stations overload you with the impending doom: buy batteries, fill up jugs with water, find your flashlights, stockpile canned food, keep your pets, your children and yourself in doors!!!! The storm like no other storm we have ever had before is COMING!!! Take cover and good luck.....
This happens EVERY TIME one of those nasty storms hit the Gulf of Mexico whether it is a tropical depression or a full fledged hurricane, the message is ALWAYS the same. So, the stores are packed, then the roads are empty.
Waiting, waiting, waiting, ooh is that wind? Yep, there is some wind! Then, the rain. Then...nothing in Isaac's case. All the hype and none of the glory for poor Isaac. So, in his honor, I give you this photo and give him a little glory for what he did (or did not do) to the State of Florida.

A Day Full of Random Thoughts

Why did I have to see a snake today??? I do realize that I have to share the Earth with them but I am not willing to share my own personal space too. So, that snake that uninvitedly slithered past me in the driveway today, PLEASE don't ever do that again!
I never realized how much my boss looks and acts like Judge Judy. I don't mean it as a compliment or an insult, just simply stating a "huh" moment I had when I realized the similarity.
Sunnyvale, California? Do you like reading my blog? Either way, I see you visit me often and thank you for your time here.
Ah, 22 month olds! How can something cute be so tiring? Please learn to take a nap so I can garden again, maybe actually finish a cup of tea while it is still hot or even remotely warm, and some actual me time for personal hygiene..how about a long bath versus not even being able to remember if I brushed my teeth today, now we are talking! Please consider this and let me know as soon as you can talk.
And FINALLY....a new motto for myself as I am entertaining the notion of going to where I have not gone before: I would rather live a life full of "oh wells" than "what ifs."
Hopefully this final random thought won't be just a random thought!
Goodnight blogosphere.
Love,
Me

A Day of Reflection

We use our memories to re-live moments just like we use dates to mark days we do not want to forget. When the two intertwine and a certain date triggers those memories, it is amazing how vivid that day becomes all over again every year. I have been re-living this date for 6 years now since July 17th marks a day I will never forget.
Up until July 16th, 2006, I had never thought about or ever had to deal with the concept of my own death. It's kind of one of those things that we all know we have to do someday but we never actually expect it to happen suddenly at any given moment.
I think I always assumed, like most, I would grow old versus dying young, and, certainly, after just giving birth to my son, the thought of death never entered my mind, only life. His life and the life I had just given him. Then, July 17th rolled around...a blood clot...in my lung...that almost killed me.
I obviously survived it, but, this date always becomes a day of reflection for me. I re-live the pain, the fear, the recovery, and the return into my life. I think if I try to forget that it really happened then I am not fully living my life or doing it any justice. I admit, my thoughts have shifted to many different moods over the years, but, I usually come to the same conclusion every year.
I am a survivor, I may always have this awful and painful nerve damage but it is much better than being dead, I am tougher and stronger because of this, I also have a deeper appreciation because of this, and it wasn't my time for a reason. A reason I believe is my children. I am still here for them and because of them and I was also given the gift of bringing another incredible child in my life since then.
I only allow myself every July 17th to feel and think this way. Then, the day ends and so does the memories of it until next year. I know to move forward, I can't keep looking back but I do, once a year, turn around and glance at that day. Feel what I want to feel and, then, say goodbye to the day and those thoughts of what could have been and what it has been since then....

The Chronic Daydreamer

I am a chronic daydreamer. Always have been, and, always will be. The little girl ballsy enough to sit in the front row of the classroom and still gaze out the window...that was me. The restless teenager always rushing everywhere but still stalling when the light turned green because my mind was elsewhere...that was me.
I assumed as I got older and life either got more interesting or challenging, I would have much less time for drifting thoughts, but, I still do...everyday. Those necessary but brief moments where my mind can not only escape, but, dream, has become, well, blissful to me.
I daydream about the same house over and over again with the cozy fireplace and the welcoming front porch on the tree lined street that I hope to be able to find while my kids are still young.
I ponder about my relationships and friendships...why some of them are so significant and others are much more complicated than they should be.
I often reflect about good memories from days gone by....the ones that instantly warm your heart and make you smile. 
Sometimes I pay homage to some loved ones that I will never forget and think about what I hope I said to them enough when I had the chance.
I can be standing in the Louvre or gazing at the mountains or simply listening to the leaves rustle in the camphor tree outside...it doesn't really matter as long as I get those sweet minutes to myself. Then, I usually unnoticed slip back in to my life a little less annoyed and a little more renewed for the everyday hustle and bustle of my chaotic, yet, meaningful life. So, what I seemed to think was a simple distraction has become a characteristic that I not only admit but embrace...the chronic daydreamer....that's me! I wonder where will my mind will take me today?

THAT kind of day

Have you ever had THAT day? THAT kind of day that just throws you so far out of focus that you just cannot seem to find your way back again to before THAT day?

Well, I had THAT day two whole days ago and still find myself a little off kilter until I saw THAT photo hovering above these rambling words of mine. The beautiful message reads "Whatever happens in your life, whatever your pain, remember that God always sends rainbows after the rain."

It always strikes me as odd when you need to find your focus and then you stumble across something just like this. For whatever reason, call it just a random photo, a coincidence or divine intervention, but, it still amazes me when this happens.

My, as the photo calls it, "rain" was seeing my child hurting after a very bizarre and totally unexpected accident. We were walking down the sidewalk in front of his school and did not see an uncovered water meter. He took a step and his small foot fit perfectly inside the exposed hole that none of us saw. He immediately fell forward and crash landed right into an iron pipe protruding out of the ground which hit his forehead and tore his chin open. I just caught him falling out of the corner of my eye and a split second later he was on the ground bleeding.

Why was the cover off the meter? Why didn't I turn around sooner and catch him before he hit the ground? Why did we walk down this sidewalk today and not our usual way home? My mind raced with questions I managed to think but couldn't answer.

Always calm and composed little ole me was suddenly a big ole mess of frazzled nerves. I soon figured out that there is truly nothing worse than seeing your child hurt like that. The kind of hurt you can't hug and kiss away, the kind of hurt that you can't make feel better no matter how hard you try. Just awful. I haven't ever had to really have that feeling and I hope I never will have a reason to again.

Two hours in the E.R. and four stitches later, my little boy was "fixed" and back to his normal self again. In true form for him, he did not cry and he didn't want to talk about it, just fix it and take me home. How could my 5 year old be so much braver than me? Well, I guess it is just called being a mother who simply couldn't handle seeing him that way and not being able to make it all go away.

We went home and the usual rat race began. Homework, dinner time, bath time, story time, bed time, wake up, make the lunches, get the kids to school, go to work , start over again. Today is literally the first day I have had some time to really decompress from it but I felt that unraveled feeling quickly sinking in again and the same questions began to race through my worn out mind.

I have talked to school and city officials about the uncovered water meter. The cover has been attached again, the iron pipe has been buried under a mound of dirt, and after explaining to them that it was more about the lack of safety issue than the medical bill reimbursement, I have decided to file a claim. So, I should feel better about my quick and pro active approach right? BUT that sweet little boy with the stitched up chin that he calls "ropes" just makes me sad and I think I will just feel THAT way until it heals.

However, as I randomly wandered around Facebook tonight, and, saw this photo a friend "liked," it just hit me in a good way. Sometimes, it just feels good to be reminded that there is that rainbow after the rain clears. So, random photo, coincidence or divine intervention, thank you. Thank you for helping this frazzled mom focus again. Now, back to the rat race....

A sneak peek of Autumn, a slight teaser that lasted a mere 3 days, but, oh what a lovely 72 hours it was! Florida is not known for its change of seasons. We usually only have two - Summer and Winter. Leaves go from green to brown and we go from shorts and flip flops to, well, jackets and flips flops!
If Fall and Spring grace their presence in our tropical state, it is usually so brief that it actually puts us in such a euphoric confusion that we quickly question if it was even real....Did this weather even happen?
So, when a cool breeze and noticeably drier air drifted into our town on Saturday, it was an all out celebration! The A/C goes off, the windows go open, and EVERYONE is happy! People are riding bicycles, children are playing outside(....for hours!) and even our aloof neighbors were actually friendly.
So, what is it about that first burst of a new season beginning that literally rejuvenates us into these calm, friendly and happy people? I don't know, but, I wish I could bottle it up and sell it! For now, though, I will try and convince myself that it was real as these unwelcome hot temperatures slyly sneak back in....Oh, Autumn, I love you and please come back soon!